In early June, without realizing it, I began to get anxious.
And what happened was a cluster of feelings and issues that were happening in my life that left me feeling like I had a stone tied in my shoe. My life did not go, I felt like I had no time for anything and lived tired.
July came and even with 10 days of planned European summer vacation coming, I still couldn’t get in the mood.
For the first time I had started working a part-time job here in the UK, the tourist’s life was getting tired. Needed to consume more, local matters, speak the language here, understand the accent, what’s going on in the city, meet people from other cultures, normal, right? Do you want to be part of the place you’re living in?! and not just be part of a bubble?! You have no idea how much I evolved as a person, not to mention my English improved dramatically. But after 3 months working in this place I already felt my English stop improving. And nothing about this company made me want to stay there. Later I tell more about this life experience!
I continued this job for a few more months until we arrived in June, I was suffocated by my first job here in Queen’s Land (using my National Insurance), and was finding none another solution. I just knew that I could no longer stay there, despite having my own clients and being able to prospect new clients, especially now that my English is much better, I don’t know what was going on. I was feeling bound and uninspired for anything.
Besides, some projects that were not taking off and that then made me much more worried and anxious. Looking at it today, it seems that the two problems got tangled up in a way that stressed me in a level. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but was messing with my mental health and so on, messing with my routine and my marriage.
I went traveling thinking it was not the first time this had happened in my life, nor would it be the last. So I wanted to focus more on myself and my REAL priorities.
Being on social networks at the time was not interesting, because I started comparing myself to other people who were achieving their goals. That is, I was causing myself even worse pain. Besides, my life is one thing, and theirs another completely different. But being rational this way through the middle of the hurricane is not that simple.
Allied to all this, I had concluded that I was wasting a lot of time on instagram, of course it still has the client profiles that I manage, which makes me spend even more time there. I opened my phone and without realizing it was clicking on instagram. I needed to stop and get away from that a bit. To post client content I don’t necessarily need to log in to instagram. I can do everything remotely.
Summer vacation has come and before we travel we have had a thankless surprise. We were invited to stay at the home of a friend who uninvited us at the last minute. We had to find a hotel a week ago before we left, right in the middle of July. We got the hotel and also managed to stay a few days at another friend’s house. Saved by the “Queen”! But the stress only increased.
I went traveling thinking it was not the first time this had happened in my life, nor would it be the last. So I wanted to focus more on myself and my REAL priorities. In the end, the holidays in Barcelona were amazing, it was a long time since I had a quality of time as I had that time, disconnecting from social networks while I was traveling, was enriching for me to return home much stronger, and much more motivated for my projects and new ideas. Speaking of entrepreneurship, the head does not stop right!!? There in Barcelona we made new partnerships and created new business ideas. And we are a building a business in Spain. In fact, we had an interrupted holidays day because we were going to filming a wedding in Ibiza. And that was even better. I love working with my husband! @racreative.uk
We went back to Manchester and the next day I had to go to work, at that job I mentioned above, where I worked part time and had no time for anything, and no head for anything. Before leaving home I started to shaking and get sick to my stomach. (My stomach is the most vulnerable point in my body because I have IBS – irritable bowel syndrome.) At that moment I decided I couldn’t go through with it anymore. I arrived to work and resigned. From that day on, I felt everything different!
In the same week, I redesigned the firefly.estudio brand, incorporating everything that had been defined in Barcelona, created a brand for a friend and client in Brazil (@veronicafreitasss), started sending proposals and doing new business. I felt calm and happy. Of course Money helps a lot, and I wasn’t broke. I just had no prospect of better days, myself, my goals, and the good people around me.
In the end it was that job that was causing all this in my life. I have a quality that sometimes I think is a big flaw, being too patient. Sometimes I’m too patient with things or people that aren’t worth it. And it affects me in a way … as I mentioned above!
Here is my experience, so you don’t go through the same things. No one, not even my husband, imagined what was happening to me. Traveling practically every month (our goal living here in Europe is to know as many places as possible until we return (if we return) to Brazil) and leading a “wonderful life” only on social networks, personally it was completely different and I understand that those travels were not only part of our biggest goal but they were also an escape route for my problems but I don’t want to have escape routes I don’t need nor need to put up with them make your own choices and don’t fear them at all. #everymindmatters
JUST ARRIVED< >
100 Contemporary Houses at Shopbop
heart adidas Originals by Alexander Wang
Buy Now at Shopbop